I’m on Facebook :-)

My goal for this blog is to be a place where people can learn about depression, anxiety and also a place, where I can clear my head and leave all the thoughts that spin in my head most of the time. I’m also aware that there are many more mental health issues and invisible illnesses that I can’t write about, because I don’t experience them, but I still want people to understand them too, as I am trying all the time. Which is where my Facebook page comes in. My blog posts are shared there automatically, but I also share there articles or pictures I find on other pages on Facebook that I think are good and educational. In the future, I would like to share there things from around the net, not only from other pages on Facebook, I just don’t have time for it yet, because most of my time and energy right now goes to finishing my studies in time. But in the future, I want my Facebook page to be a place, where you can find help and support with your problems and also a place to learn. And a place where I share my oh-so-important thoughts and things I do, obviously :-). So if you want, go like it and it might lead you to other pages that might interest you and give you some more insight into the complicated world that is mental health and invisible illness.

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On Facebook/Scared Little Girl

So, I just launched my Facebook page, where I will post all the blogs. To be honest, I’m really scared… I invited my friends and those are people who meet me, some of them every day. And there are some of them, who know nothing about my problems. I’m still not used to calling it illness… What will they think? And does it matter? It shouldn’t. And I was thinking about this blog for so long that I should be happy to just start and “educate” people. The problem is… I’m not good at being brave. I act like a hero, fighting again and again, but deep inside, I’m just a scared little girl. I have spent years building protective walls, so nobody could see me, hurt me. I have covered every weakness, so nobody could use it against me…

And now, it’s new beginning. I want to feel proud, I want to feel brave, but I can’t. I feel so exposed, so vulnerable. I decided to show the world exactly the spot, where you can hit me and I will fall. And I decided to share my history, my totally deep feelings and memories, just to help you all out there understand…

So my thought for tonight is…please don’t hurt me, not too much. I know that nobody out there can hurt me and hate me as much as I can hurt and myself, when “the demons come”. I know I am the one I should be afraid of. But no, I am afraid of the world… and life itself.