I’m fucking living right now! So some good news, rage can get me out of my depression!
Some time ago I started following several youtubers with dissociative identity disorder (DID), because I wanted to learn more. DID is one of the most misunderstood and stigmatized mental disorders and there are some really good channels out there. I’ve been planning on writing about them here, but with all the shit going on recently in my life, I just didn’t get to it. And now, DID community is going through some serious issues, because a certain youtuber decided that having DID is a good money grab!
On March 4, a youtuber named Anthony Padilla posted another video in his series of “I spent a day with…” called I spent a day with MULTIPLE PERSONALITIES (Dissociative Identity Disorder). He interviewed three people with DID, asked them about their lives, their experience, it’s a very well done video and I highly recommend you watch it, if you want to have a good starting point in learning more about DID.
The proof that is was really well done is that one of the three people is DissociaDID, a system having an amazing YT channel. During the interview Nin, the host, switched to Kyle, and Anthony didn’t even blink, they just shaked hands and continued. Not only that but they also gave Kyle Nin’s coat to cover his legs, because he was really uncomfortable being in a short skirt. Some time later Nin wanted to switch back to answer a question she really wanted to answer and during that a Little (an alter that is very young, kid or young teen) came out. They were very confused, but Anthony again did everything to make the kid comfortable and the Little actually answered the question in an amazing way. It was surprising to see the bit with the Little left in the video, because I know that DissociaDID is very protective of their Littles. Later in a stream Nin explained that they decided to leave it in, because it was really beautiful, powerful and brave, but she did ask Anthony to hide the Little’s name and age (predators could abuse this knowledge to attack and lure the person). Overall, Anthony was amazingly professional and kind, he was very compassionate, DissociaDID’s switches are pretty awful and he was reassuring them to take their time, offering them to leave for a bit, if they needed…
All this is great, but here comes the problem that I’ve just learned about and that makes me absolutely livid! You see, Anthony Padilla is a very popular youtuber, he has over 4 millions subscribers. So lot of people watched this video and it was trending on YT’s main page for quite a bit. Which is where a certain youtuber decided that it was a great way to get views and cash from ads. I’m just gonna say that this person is a woman, I am NOT naming her, although if you do go watch some of the videos I will link here, you will see her name. Please don’t go watch her videos, don’t give her views.
Anyway, this person is known for claiming to be a member of certain communities etc only to get views and attentin, because even hate views are views and the bring her money, because sadly, she does have a big YT following. This person made a video claiming that they have DID and to present their alters. If you want to see DissociaDID reacting to her video, explaining all the things she claims wrong and all the misinformation she’s spreading, it’s here. I jut have to say that Nin was so respectful, I admire her, I would be furious.
Anthony Padilla also called that youtuber out for her behavior. And that’s when shit hit the fan. This female youtuber made another video, where she got incredibly angry and aggressive. I watched some parts of it (on another channel, I did NOT gave that person views) and it was bad. She curses, yells, gestures violently etc. She doubled down on Twitter, she went after Anthony Padilla and DissociaDID.
Her videos and her whole tirade has gotten so far that she is actively traumatizing the whole DID community! And just to be clear here, DID is developed as a defense mechanism when child goes through terrible trauma and doesn’t have a space to properly deal with. We are talking about people, who were severely abused as little kids, so badly that as a defense mechanism, their brain created different personalities, that hold these traumas and memories, so that the person can go on. We are talking about people who were to hell and back! We are talking about people, who face stigma on daily basis, whose lives are very difficult because they went through incredible pain as little kids!
And how do I know that the youtuber’s video are traumatizing and hurting the whole DID community? Yesterday, Kyle from the DissociaDID system posted a short video. In that he explains that one of the last videos of said youtuber, where she screams, and swears and is threating, caused the system serious flashbacks and retraumatized them. It got so bad, that there was another split! And from what I read on their Twitter, this system is not the only one suffering. Many people in the community are deeply affected and there were splits. Just to make it absolutely clear. This youtuber acted in such a way, that she caused flashbacks to serious childhood trauma and it got so bad that in some systems the brain had to CREATE ANOTHER PERSONALITY JUST TO BE ABLE TO COPE!
I can’t even BEGIN to describe how absolutely infuriating this is! It’s… disgusting, it’s vile, it’s abusive! That youtuber just went straight to the same level as all the awful people, who caused people to develop DID! There are people now saying that they are afraid to talk about having DID, because they are afraid that people will associate them with said youtuber. She is damaging and abusing so many people, just because she wants the ad money. Because DID was trending, she needed some attention and money, so she went for it. It… I can’t believe somebody would be so vile and disgusting. To me, this person is barely human now, because this is beyond my comprehension. I think this commentary video by a channel called Kristina Maione says it really well. I absolutely agree with her rage and I agree with her words!
And to people out there with DID, please know that you are loved, you are valid, you are special and you are amazing. Your alters are valid, you are not an awful person and you have nothing to be ashamed of. I am so sorry that you and your community are struggling right now, but you are not alone. So many people are furious at your behalf, so many people see your suffering and stand by your side. I love you, my heart breaks for you and I wish there was something I could to help you. Please hang on!