These two days have been pretty exhausting, especially today. Yesterday I got migraine, so I mostly slept, but today, I felt my anxiety reaching higher and higher, which is not much fun, to be honest.
My heart is racing, from morning until now, which has some really nice side effects. For example, I’m hungry all the time, because somehow my body feels I have really big energy output, I’m tired, because it feels like I’m running whole day, I have trouble breathing, for the same reason and I’m super restless whole day. I guess it’s adrenalin or something, but honestly, it’s exhausting. I have trouble concentrating on anything, because I feel that everything is too slow and it takes too much time. I have trouble talking, because I can’t catch my breath. Time moves slowly all day, nothing makes me happy, because I feel nervous and on edge all the time, nervous and restless.
Yeah, that’s one of the symptoms of my anxiety, although it’s not as painfull and swift as other versions, it’s equally exhausting, because everything takes much more energy. And all the conflicts and problems are harder to solve. My mum had one of her “I know everything better” moods today, I normally hate those, but today I just wanted to smash something. Then at the movie theatre, there were problems and my dad was getting nervous and angry and I felt bad, because it was my idea we go see new Star Wars together today… I tried taking pill to calm down, but it didn’t help much. It helps with big swift attacks, but I guess not with this kind.
So most of the day, I just felt restless, nervous, now I also feel physically sick and light-headed, I feel exhausted, yet not really tired, I know there are things I should and could do, yet I have trouble concentrating on those things or even remembering what are those things… What fun, really.