I’m getting more crazy than usually… Or more drunk. Or something in between or something totally different. I just saw new trailer for Star Wars VII and it just brings so many memories. SW is one of the things I share with my dad, but it also made me realize how I don’t know him. Don’t worry, my dad is still alive, but still. Just this past year I slowly learned to tell my parents that I love them. But I also learned, that I don’t know my parents. Especially my dad.
When I was pretty young, he started working in another city, commuting there for better job and better pay; my mother was pretty much the “boss” of our family since then. But my dad has always been the one to support my sister and me in our reading habbits, we have lot of fantasy and especially science fiction at home. We had had Lord of the Rings way before the movies, before it became fashionable, the same with Hobbit. My sister got some big books full of illustrations inspired by Tolkien years before LOTR came to cinemas. And yes, I loved Legolas way before Orlando Bloom :-).
I remember being really young (I guess about four five years old) and my dad watching some movie, on VHS, rented, so yes, it was yeeaaars agoooo. I really liked some whistling robot, but my dad told me I was too young for this movie and he would rent it again when I would be old enough. Yes, it was Star Wars, but I don’t know what episode, four or five I guess. I remember watching the movies years later on TV and my classmates laughing at me for my teenage crush on Han Solo, because the actor is like generation older than me. Strangely, most of my favourite actors are generation or more older (Sean Bean, Alan Rickman, Jeremy Irons…and that’s just some…). But yes, I fell in love with SW, I think episode two is the one I went to see with my dad. I also remeber seeing episode three two times in cinema, but no longer with my dad.
When I heard the title melody tonight I just cried. It’s something connecting me to a man I wish I knew better, but don’t know how. It’s like me saving his old guitar, out of tune and not really repairable, but it’s something his, something I don’t want to give up. I wish to have the courage to talk to him. I love him, he’s my dad, but I know so little about him. Crazily, my fiancé is a lot similar to my dad. Crazy, or common, I don’t know. One day I will be watching SW and crying, because I will remember my dad and all this. SW will always mean my dad, always.
Dad, you probably won’t never read this, but I love you. You’re the best dad I could ever wish for and I’m so proud to be your daughter. Love you Dad.