This is my thoughts surrounding yesterday referendum in Slovakia. There is nothing super informed in this piece, I just need to clear my head from the huge amount of thoughts that is there.
The referendum was basically about homosexual weddings, homosexual pairs adopting children and sexual education. I have to say I’m glad it’s invalid because of the low turnout. I also have to say I didn’t read all the stuff connected to it and I didn’t follow Slovakian media, but all this just got me thinking. What is so wrong about homosexual weddings that some people feel the need to “protect society” from it? Why is it so bad that a homosexual couple would adopt children? Or that children would be educated about various sexual things at school?
Take the sexual education, the question was about obligatory sexual education that children would have to participate even their parents or themselves didn’t agree with content of the course. It’s weird, really. Probably every family nowadays has at least one computer with internet connection, children have smartphones with internet, how can someone think that they won’t know anything about sex unless they are taught that at school. And even if some parents decide to control every page their child visits, the children have friends who have internet, friends who have information… And sex is everywhere, look at some advertisement, so many adds I see have naked men or women, even if the product has nothing to do with them… so many adds are simply sexist. And what about songs or movies? That’s all full of interaction between people (and not only heterosexual), from flirting to anything else. When you don’t talk to your children about sex and everything connected with it (sexual abuse, contraceptive methods…) you’re just making them super vulnerable! And what if you decide to tell them that only heterosexual is normal and they “fail” to be that. Well, congratulations, you “created” a person, that will always be ashamed of who they are, that will never be opened to you and that will probably hate you because you made them hate themselves. What an accomplishment! (*sarcasm sign*) And if they are heterosexual, you’re spreading hatred anyway, which is still wrong, in my opinion.
And why are people so offended by anyone not heterosexual?! I hear tons of s**t about “traditional family” created only by man and woman, which really just makes me laugh. What is traditional family? If it is man and woman only, what about all those divorced couples? What about single parents? When people get divorced, should we take their children away, because they are no longer “traditional family”? Well, as far as I know, about 50% of couples get divorced, that’s a lot of children, what are we going to do with them. Another argument I keep hearing is that children need both man and woman role model, which also makes me super angry. Again, when a couple gets divorced, what role model is that? Or single parent, where is the other model? Well, they are usually replaced by someone else, another family member, may be a teacher… And how many children have such a great relationship with parents that they take them as a role model? Or what about abusive families, is that a good “traditional family”, because the parents are together? Or is that a good role model for children? I don’t think so.
And why so many people even insist on keeping marriage just for heterosexual couples! I understand why non-hetero people want it. I really want to get married one day and I cannot imagine not being able to just because of my orientation. For me, marriage is something amazing, something I truly wish for, without it the relationship just doesn’t feel completely right, but I’m heterosexual, so for me it’s not a problem. But I cannot imagine feeling this way about marriage and don’t have the opportunity to get married, that really feels terrible. Why should someone be denied this just because they aren’t heterosexual. And when a heterosexual couple doesn’t want to get married, should we deny them having children, because they are not “traditional family”? Some people just act like marriage is the most important thing in the world, when for many people it doesn’t mean a thing. For me, it’s important, for someone else, it’s not and that’s ok. But that doesn’t mean we should take away marriage from people that actually want to get married, take away they freedom to choose.
And why shouldn’t children be raised in a non-heterosexual family? Just because the couple cannot adopt a child, that doesn’t mean they cannot “obtain” a child some other way. Being heterosexual doesn’t automatically make someone a good parent, it’s about what kind of person they are, not about sexual orientation.
I just “love” all this talk about anything traditional and why should we change something etc etc etc… Well, some decades ago, a traditional family was man working, making money and controlling the family and woman sitting home, being good wife, not having any chance to express her opinion, no chance for education, no chance for career. Is this a traditional family? Or is it even more time ago, when woman was considered a man’s property, something being transfered from her father to her husband, without her having no right to say anything? Just because something has been in some state for some time doesn’t automatically mean it’s good.
Ok, end of my rant, I emptied my head of some opinions. All this hatred and prejudices and all makes me sad. Although I don’t have the experience of non-heterosexual people, I do know how it feels to be bullied, hated, how it feels hating myself, being depressed because of that… And I don’t think this is the right thing we as a society should deliberately create, that’s really wrong.