Helpful Advice

One of the things that can always make me mad, or miserable, is when I hear people talking about depressions as it’s not really a problem. I guess it’s because people don’t talk about it much and we use reference to depression in connection with being just really tired or feeling not very happy because of something. So what people think is that depression means just being really sad or tired or not being in the right mood. Which it is, but on much higher level that any normal person normally reaches. As a result the real depression is diminished by people around us, because we are thought to be “just sad, just overreacting, exaggerating, we should try to be more positive” etc etc etc. And when you already feel like a piece of shit (excuse my language) and someone comes and tells you this, it makes you even worse, because you know you are the worst person and you’re also apparently really weak and good for nothing. Because if you’re not, then for sure you would be able to as happy and able to live your life as people around you…

All this is wrong and really does so much more harm then good. Yes, it is good to learn to be more positive, but when you diminish feelings of depressed person, you’re just making them feel worse. I know because I’ve been there. I had friends telling me that if I was really depressed I would have killed myself and not talked about it. They were unable to understand that I was trying to reach for help. Well, they weren’t friends for much longer, but that was pretty long ago, although I don’t think I will ever forget it. But I have friends, friends now, who didn’t know about my problems, and I heard them saying that antidepressants are for nothing and how bad it is and how they don’t believe it all. And I sat there, listening, feeling really awkward, thinking “Should I say something? Should I try to explain, talk to them? Should I embarassed both of us?” Even my parents have problems coming to terms with my illness. When I told them about my depressions last year, my mum kept asking me for months if I think I will ever be ok or if I have to take pills all my life or what I plan to do when I get pregnant…

It was so frustrating! I don’t know answers for any of that and it scares me to think about it! Also it feels pretty weird to just talk about depressions in real life with my friends, because of all these opinions around. So please, respect depressed people around you.

And here are two comics from Robot Hugs to explain that depression is just an illness as any other and helpful advice might not be as helpful as lot of people think it might be (click on the picture to make it bigger).

2013-11-21-Helpful Advice        2014-06-24-More Helpful Advice

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